How To Be Part of the Problem: An Instruction Manual for my Fellow White Queers

Alternatively titled: A Grassroots Guide to Making Sure that Nothing Gets Better and The LGBTQ Community Loses All Credibility as a Social Movement as Well as its Humanity

Witness a tragedy of white supremacy. Tweet a few times. Believe that you have done your part.

Ease your white guilt by reminding yourself that you are also oppressed! Do whatever mental gymnastics you have to do in order for that to somehow make you feel better.

Let go of all the standards you have for straight allies. If you don’t, you’ll have to hold yourself to those standards as well. Try to forget about what it was like after Orlando. Repress the pain of silent loved ones. Forget about the sickening rage you felt so deeply within yourself when politicians and pastors refused to utter the words “hate crime” or “homophobia.” Don’t think about how devastating it was when you realized that some people were completely unaffected by an event that left you sobbing on your bedroom floor and scared to face the world. Do not empathize.

Or, if you can’t make yourself forget, then focus that pain in a different direction. Assume that your trauma and your minority status mean that you understand the PoC experience perfectly. Draw every parallel you can and forgo nuance. You already get it. And if you already get it, then you have no reason to actually listen to people of color. Don’t bother listening.

Let people know that you are sad and angry about white supremacy. Be sad about Charlottesville. Be sad about Charleston. Be sad about Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, Kendra James, Freddie Gray, Darnisha Harris, Walter Scott, Tamir Rice, Laquan McDonald, Shereese Francis, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Tanisha Anderson, Trayvon Martin, Malissa Williams, Alberta Spruill, Eric Harris, Alesia Thomas, Rumain Brisbon, Yvette Smith, Tarika Wilson, Darrien Hunt, Ezell Ford, Dontre Hamilton, Shelly Frey, Shantel Davis, Bernard Bailey, Miriam Carey, Rekia Boyd, Aiyana Stanley-Jones, Kathryn Johnston, Aura Rosser, and Sandra Bland.

However, remember to prioritize self-care! Tell yourself that you simply do not have time to worry about every single issue.

IMPORTANT: Pretend that white supremacy and LGBT oppression are two separate issues.

Pretend that the modern gay rights movement was not started by trans women of color. Pretend that our community would still exist if it weren’t for our black brothers and sisters. Pretend that “gay culture” is yours. Pretend that we were borne out of “unity” and “kindness” and a respect for “all sides,” and not out of bloody riots in rebellion against police brutality.

After you’ve decided that you don’t have time to care about racial justice, don’t let that stop you from using AAVE and borrowing black culture when you go to the club with your white friends. Have a great time.

Have such a great time and be so in love with the queer community that you can’t see any of its faults. Preach the gospel of queer inclusivity. Remember how welcomed and celebrated your fellow gays made you feel right after you came out. Assume that every gay person feels this way. Do not talk about racism. Do not make anyone uncomfortable. Do not entertain the idea that white supremacy still exists within the LGBT community.

Do not entertain the idea that white supremacy still exists within you.

Wait until there is a tragedy of white supremacy.


One comment

  1. race plays such a crucial role in the sexual dynamics of the gay community. I have seen it in play, and in some truly harmful ways! it still terrifies me to think there would be blind racial hatred and white supremacy in the LGBT community


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